


The Greater Good

by ZafiraMente



Series: Good Intentions [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 半妖の夜叉姫 | Hanyou no Yashahime | Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZafiraMente/pseuds/ZafiraMente
Summary: Canon compliantish, aged up characters. After Naraku was defeated, before the epilogue, Rin is living in Kaede's village, as is Jaken. Through Jaken, Sesshomaru finds out about Inuyasha's night of humanity. No matter what, Sesshomaru tries to act in Rin's best interest, even if that interest is Kohaku.
Relationships: Kohaku/Rin (InuYasha), Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Series: Good Intentions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004475
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	The Greater Good

**Author's Note:**

> In my head canon, Rin is 11-12 when she is dropped off with Kaede, 14-15 when Kagome comes back. This story does have Rin dating Kohaku after Kagome's return (who is also older than her), just as a warning. There is background Sess/Rin, which is asexual, it's more like soul connection type of thing. 
> 
> If SessRin isn't your thing or you think the ship is terrible, the back button would likely be the best choice. 
> 
> A couple of cultural notes:  
> Marriage, from what I can find, was a far more casual thing in Japan in this time period. But, I also think, especially after Kagome returns, she would have a lot of modern viewpoints on things like treatment of women and their rights in society. I figure she gets away with it, first because Inuyasha LOL and secondly, their village is just weird!
> 
> During that time in Japan, whenever women were menstruating, they were considered unclean and banished to isolation until their cycle was complete. I thought it would be amusing that Kagome would go along with it because it was a vacation she got every month! LOL I also picture her bonding with Rin when their cycles sync and poor Sango gets left out because she can't stop getting pregnant! 
> 
> I usually keep fics cooking longer to re-read and re-edit, but I felt like I needed to publish something, hopefully it is still enjoyed. If you see a plot hole or inconsistency, please let me know. 
> 
> Anyway, leave a comment or kudos.....pretty please!

“What are you doing here, Sesshomaru-sama?” Sango was curious to see the demon lord, just over a month after he had left Rin to stay with Kaede.

Sesshomaru looked pointedly at the hut she had come from, all their friends gathered together, preparing for the night of the new moon. It was a chance to catch up and relax before the stress of the one night a month they were going to be unprotected by any demon benefactor. “It is the new moon.”

But apparently, they weren’t unprotected after all. Sango had taken the first patrol shift, just staying alert for any sign of trouble when she had encountered Sesshomaru lounging under a tree. It would seem that he had come to stand watch over their village while Inuyasha was incapacitated by humanity. She hadn’t even thought he _knew_ about Inuyasha’s weakness, though that shouldn’t surprise her. “Uh. Thank you…?” She wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, she was so shocked. He was protecting his brother. 

He sniffed superiorly. “Your services are not needed, demon slayer. Go rejoin the gathered humans.” He knew Rin was in there with the rest, ready to protect Inuyasha if needed, silly child. He would make sure there was no need for her to battle to defend his half-brother. “Do not tell Rin I am here,” he added as an afterthought. He had made an arrangement with the old woman, and he would keep those terms until renegotiation.

Sango just gaped when he spoke initially, then things started falling into place when he finished. Perhaps he was not protecting Inuyasha at all. “Hm. Alright.” She turned back to the village, still feeling rather stunned to find him in the forest.

* * *

It was a pleasant gathering of adopted family, only missing Kagome. She had disappeared with the Shikon Jewel and all Inuyasha would say was that she was safe with her family. Anyone with eyes though could he was devastated by the loss. 

Sango motioned to Inuyasha from just outside the hut. He trotted out, looking so much younger without his dog ears and white hair. “Aren’t you still on watch?” He hated this weakness, hated that it endangered his friends, but he had no choice by to rely on them. 

She grinned. “Not anymore. Sesshomaru is here.” She dropped her voice low, to ensure Rin didn’t hear. The little girl was strangely attached to that demon and she was on “Team Kaede”, with her plan of extricating her from him if possible.

“WHAT?!??!” Inuyasha yelled without thinking.

He was quickly shushed by Sango. “He is out in the clearing that way.” She pointed in his direction. “Keep it down, I don’t want Rin to know though. He came because he knew what happens to you tonight.” 

His jaw dropped and he struggled to figure out what to say next. He also was in favor of leaving Ren ignorant, but how in the hell did Sesshomaru know about his new moon weakness. Inuyasha hrumphed and marched past Sango, out to the woods to speak to Sesshomaru. 

“No one asked you to come here,” Inuyasha barked at his half-brother.

Sesshomaru turned his gaze back and glared at the other man, hiding any reaction to seeing him as fully human. “And I will forgive you for that failing, because it is clear why you would hide such a thing from me.” 

“Shut up!” Inuyasha stopped himself before he tried a truly embarrassing leap with claws that did not exist that night. “I’m not apologizing for nothing!” Since he couldn’t respond with physical violence, he crossed his arms and glared back. “It’s not your problem anyway.”

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly at Inuyasha’s dramatic emotional display, then sharpened the gaze. “My vassals are in that village. You should have told me there was one night a month you could not protect them.” 

“Keh.” Inuyasha turned away, knowing Sesshomaru had a point, but being unable to concede such to him. “You gonna be here every new moon then? Kaede will say you’re violating the terms.” 

“Myself or a suitable alternate.” He considered the issue of how to deal with Rin. “This knowledge was not available when I made negotiations with the old miko, so I will speak with her about it after this evening.” He idly wondered if she had used spiritual power to bind him to his words, with the depth of concern he had about not breaking it.

Inuyasha grunted in acknowledgement. “I’m going back.” He didn’t want to stick around chit-chatting with his brother. That was only going to make things worse on the already worst night of the month.

Sesshomaru nodded and disappeared into the trees. 

* * *

Sango stopped Inuyasha before he re-entered the hut where they were gathering. “You’re still alive, so I assume it went well?” Inuyasha growled in response. “So what’s up?”

“He said he or an ‘acceptable alternative’,” Inuyasha spoke in a mocking tone for the words in air quotes. “would be here every month. I mean, it probably won’t hurt to still patrol, just to make sure he doesn’t screw it up.”

Sango suppressed a smirk that Inuyasha seemed to be claiming that they would be able to handle something Sesshomaru couldn’t. 

He grumbled a little. “Now I have to go tell Kaede that he wants to talk to her. Like I’m his errand boy.”

“Have fun with that, I’m going to have some dinner while it’s hot!” She clapped Inuyasha on the shoulder and walked in to join Miroku.

* * *

The next morning Sesshomaru and Kaede met. “Why did ye want to talk to me?” Kaede asked pointedly. It hadn’t even been a month since he dropped Rin off, and already he was back.

He pierced her with his eyes. “No one informed me that Rin would be unprotected one night every month.”

“She’s not unprotected, we’ll all protect her with our lives.” Kaede even meant it, she didn’t think of Rin being at undue risk during Inuyasha’s “time of the month”. 

“That’s not good enough. I will not allow her to be at risk while my hanyo brother is helpless. I will be watching over the village when the moon is gone.” He didn’t give any room for negotiation, because there was none.

Kaede’s wrinkled face furrowed even deeper. “You agreed to only come back once a year.” 

“I will come for a social visit, once a year. But what I speak of is not a social nicety, or up for discussion. Whether you know I am present or not, I will be here.”

She didn’t hide her annoyance, but the worst part was he was right. There wasn’t a way he could be stopped from protecting her on those nights.

After a pause, he continued, “I _wish_ Rin to assimilate to humans. I do not wish to interfere with that.” He could see the unhappiness at his pronouncement before and guessed at her reason.

She seemed reasonably mollified by that, acquiescing. “Fine, as long as ye let her become a human woman.” Sesshomaru nodded his head in agreement, moving off to the hut where Rin was. Kaede called after him in confusion, “What are ye doing?”

“Explaining to Rin, so she has the security of knowing she is never unprotected but that I will not visit socially. I do not wish for her to hear it from you,” he said with only a little accusation. He knew she would be hurt if he was out there without telling her. He didn’t know _how_ he knew that, just that it was true. He spoke in a tone demonstrating that this was the most self-apparent concept ever and that Kaede must be stupid to not have realized it. 

Kaede pursed her lips and nodded. She wanted Sesshomaru to fit her prejudice, but she begrudgingly had to appreciate that he was careful with the girl. "She's still sleeping."

“When she is awake, send her out.” 

* * *

Rin finished her breakfast and cleaning of dishes before Kaede told her that her patron was awaiting her outside. Rin’s eyes widened with delight and ran out of the hut, going to the trees where she knew her liege would be waiting. 

“Sesshomaru-sama?” She called hopefully. He stepped slowly out of the shadows, so as not to frighten her. When she saw him, her smile grew impossibly larger. Of course, he shouldn’t have worried that he would frighten her; she was never scared of him. “Did you change your mind?” She hoped this was him deciding that he was not going to leave her. 

He motioned for her to kneel and he did the same, opposite her. “Have you learned all you need to know?” Her smile fell and she shook her head; he nodded in response. He wanted to ensure she knew this separation served an important purpose, not just to escape her presence. In fact, he had grown accustomed to her voice and singing, and he felt an emptiness without her that he could not explain. But that did not matter right now. “Jaken told me of what happens to Inuyasha on the new moon.” Truly, he didn’t know how they expected to keep it from him. If Rin knew, Jaken knew, and if Jaken knew, Sesshomaru certainly did as well. “I will ensure that no harm comes to you on those nights.”

She nodded, seeming a little impressed with his brother. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “Yes, he becomes a human on every new moon. His hair is black, and he doesn’t have dog ears and no fangs or claws at all!” It was quite the novelty to see him like that, and it was nearly a holiday in the sense of how close the adopted family stayed together. “Everyone gets very worried because of it and he stays mostly inside and we protect him.” She puffed up with a bit of pride because she got to be included in that, even though her job in case of attack was to run for help.

“Indeed,” he said a bit drily, not nearly so impressed with the weakness of a hanyo. “But it means he cannot fulfil his duty to me: to protect you.” 

She looked down, feeling a mixture of happiness that he was concerned and embarrassment that he might feel she was a burden. “I’m sorry, Sesshomaru-sama, I do not want to cause problems.”

“Rin.” He waited until she looked at him. He was suddenly at a loss of what to say, her eyes meeting his and he couldn’t help but note the gold flecks in her brown, like they were a match to his. “You are never a problem.” He touched her head hesitantly, almost in a patting motion. He felt that was likely not the motion he wished, but it brought him into contact with her, and despite the awkwardness of the movement, she did not seem displeased; in fact, her face blushed slightly. “I will ensure you are kept from harm, even if I am not seen.” He made a vow to himself that it would be true always, no matter what happened in the future.

It pleased her more than it should, that he would care enough to personally ensure her safety, and that he came to tell her, so she would know he was out there. It meant he had thought of her and her feelings and taking other people’s feelings into account was not her lord’s strong suit. “Yes, milord.” She kept her head bowed to him, hiding the smile she couldn’t tamp down.

“Keep working hard. We will speak again when the sakura blooms.” And with a whoosh, he was gone again.

* * *

Rin assimilated better than most had anticipated. She was a bright, pleasant girl and, due to the fact that she was living in a village that welcomed hanyo, she did not face the same discrimination she would have perhaps faced in a traditional village. Of course, she still had some mistrust of humans, but she learned slowly to start trusting those in Inuyasha’s inner circle. 

Learning to read was hard for her, but Inuyasha helped a lot inadvertently, because he decided to learn along with her, and he struggled even more than she did. She could sense that Inuyasha was sad that the woman he used to travel with was gone, and perhaps that feeling of missing someone helped them bond in the early days. In some ways, he knew just as little as she did about how to be a human and he also shared her disdain for shoes. Try as she might though, she could not convince him of the glorious nature of his half-brother. 

She would occasionally catch glimpses of Sesshomaru on the nights of the new moon. She would watch the forest for signs of him, knowing that if she was able to see him, it was only because he was allowing it. On the few occasions there were battles that happened near the village, she knew that he would be above whatever hut she had taken shelter in, and that she had nothing to fear if he was present. 

And every spring, when the sakura trees were full, Sesshomaru would visit, bringing gifts, but more importantly, being there to interact and watch her demonstrate all that she had learned in his absence. In her third year in the village, Rin very specifically had worked on her fan dancing skills where she was sure he could not see even if he was watching, so it was truly a surprise for him to see her moving gracefully through the motions of the traditional dance. 

She didn’t note that Kohaku was watching her nearly as intently as Sesshomaru, though it didn’t escape the demon’s perception. 

* * *

Sesshomaru praised her dancing to a point that embarrassed her; she was not used to hearing praise from him. It warmed her heart greatly and lessened the worry when he said that he needed to speak to her.

“What is it Sesshomaru-sama?” Rin asked with some anxiety. She was fairly certain he wasn’t displeased with her, but his tone had been so serious.

“There is a matter on the mainland that I must attend to.” He was kneeling across from her, a common position for them to discuss things, keeping them closer to eye level. “Because of that, I may not be able to adequately protect the village on the new moon.” 

Rin frowned, concerned that he might be in danger if he was going to the mainland alone. “But you will be safe where you are?” 

Of course she was concerned for him, not her own safety. He allowed a small smile. “I will be safe. I am more concerned with you. I have made arrangements for protection.” He hesitated, hating himself for saying the next thing, because he knew it would cause her distress. “The wolves owe you a life debt.”

Rin paled. The wolves had killed her the first time. She still could remember the callous way one of the leaders had given permission to destroy her village and kill everyone, including her, and the pain of teeth that ripped her belly and throat out. She hugged herself protectively, voice soft, looking at the ground. “Please no wolves.” 

He touched her chin to bring it up so he could see her eyes. “You will be safe. As will everyone else in the village.” He added the second part, because he knew she would worry about her family, even if she was safe, even though the rest of them weren’t really his concern. She saw the regret in his eyes at making her unhappy. “I’m sorry, they will be the strongest protection I can leave you under.”

She nodded sadly, tears pricking at her eyes. “How long will Sesshomaru-sama leave Rin?” She reverted back to a more childish way of speaking when she was afraid or stressed.

Sesshomaru debated internally. He was doing this for the purpose of allowing her to explore human life more; he had seen the way Kohaku looked at her. She was close to him as well, so he thought a simple manipulation was in order, to determine their paths. While he wanted to keep her with him always, he knew logically that she would be safer with less involvement with him. He had not fully acknowledged his feelings to himself yet, and this was a last-ditch effort to untangle himself from her, before it was too late. “I do not know.”

“Did Rin do someth-“

“No.” He cut her off smoothly before she could even ask if she had done something to displease him. “Rin-chan has impressed this Sesshomaru very much with all she has learned and done. This cannot be helped.” He switched as well to third person hoping to comfort her with old habits. “This Sesshomaru will ask Kohaku to come on the new moon, to stay with Rin.” He had gleaned from other conversations that most of the village didn’t know of her deaths and fears and he didn’t want to expose those if she didn’t wish to share. And it would provide opportunities to bond with Kohaku, as much as he found the image of Kohaku holding her unpleasant. If she would be safer with Kohaku and could be happy that way, he would facilitate that future.

She nodded, struggling with conflicting emotions: fear of having the wolves near her home, sadness that Sesshomaru would be absent for a period, relief that Kohaku would be staying with her. “Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama,” her voice barely a whisper.

He watched all the emotions on her face and was conflicted himself. He knew this was the correct course of action, but seeing her pain and fear made him want to call everything off. He was having urges to touch her again that he fought against valiantly. He wasn’t sure where those urges really were coming from, but for some reason he felt like he wanted to hold her in his arms, the way he often saw humans doing to give each other comfort. He wasn’t sure how he felt about such an intimate embrace, especially when he was trying to distance himself. Instead, he stood and offered a hand to help her up. “You are very brave, Rin. We will see each other again.” He held onto her hand for a beat longer than necessary, savoring the feel of her hand in his; it was rather pleasant. That must be why he saw humans holding hands so much. 

* * *

After leaving Rin, he spoke with all the responsible parties in the village individually about his plans. Jaken was proud of Sesshomaru recognizing Jaken’s ability to safeguard Rin, because clearly that was the only answer to his lord being comfortable enough to travel so far and stay away for so long. He gave Jaken strict guidelines for when to contact him, to stay near Rin during the new moon, to report _any_ wolves that so much as drooled in Rin’s direction, and that Rin was allowed to make all decisions concerning her future, including courting.

He spoke with Kohaku next, who was detectably nervous, though he did try and hide it well. Kohaku’s voice cracked in shock as he repeated the instructions that he was to say with Rin during the new moon, as he found her quite lovely and wasn’t sure where this would lead, but he had some hope. He really hadn’t expected Sesshomaru to put in him such an advantageous position. 

Sesshomaru then informed the other elders and Inuyasha about the wolves coming to stay on the new moon, which Inuyasha complained about pettily. Sesshomaru impatiently told him that they would be barred from entering the village unless there was an attack, and his miko was gone, so there was no reason for him to be so petulant. Kaede was surprised; if she didn’t know better, she would think Sesshomaru was setting up Kohaku and Rin, but she kept that to herself. It elevated him slightly in her eyes that he recognized he was unsuitable for her.

Koga and the wolves were easy enough to convince. He explained their life debt to Rin, and that if they did not wish to fulfill it, he would slaughter them all now. With those options, they decided to fulfill the debt. They were told to avoid Rin unless she wished to see them, and that they were not to set paw in there, unless they were actively battling a threat to the village. Koga wasn’t happy with the arrangement, but he also was not in a place to refuse. Sesshomaru was stronger, and the debt had to be repaid.

Once all the arrangements had been made, Sesshomaru left for the mainland, his mind fraught with concern about this plan.

* * *

Jaken kept his own home barely outside the village. Jaken had spent so many years alone, or nigh alone when he was traveling with Sesshomaru, he found he liked the bustle of the village, but he needed some peace for sleeping. And when he didn’t have to correct the children about how to approach Lord Sesshomaru, he was quite the babysitter. It was three months after Sesshomaru left that Kohaku finally got the nerve to speak to the imp.

“Master Jaken.” Kohaku stood stiffly outside the minion’s hut and waited. 

“What is it boy? Don’t go standing there, being eaten by flies, come in come in.” Jaken bustled around the tidy space.

Kohaku hesitated, unsure whether the invitation would stand after he spoke, so he remained outdoors. “I need to send a message to Sesshomaru-sama.” 

Suspicious of the boy’s actions, Jaken turned and pierced him with a glance. “About what?” He had seen other boys in the village act like Kohaku and if he was about to say what Jaken feared, nothing good would come of it.

Kohaku flinched at the glare he received but steeled himself to continue. He knew that if he could not say it to Jaken, he would never be able to ask Sesshomaru. “I wished his blessing to court Rin-chan.”

Jaken sighed. He knew this day would come, and he liked the demon-slaying boy. “Sesshomaru-sama allows Rin-chan to make her own choices.” He had no doubt that Rin could be courted by a thousand mortal men and still none would come close to his master, but a human was the correct match for the girl. He could only assume that was why Sesshomaru was so willing to allow such autonomy, especially in a woman.

Kohaku was surprised with the response. He wasn’t sure what he imagined in a reaction, but he was surprised by the blasé nature of it all, not to mention a complete absence of hostility. “Well, uh. That’s good.” He stood there awkwardly for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do or say next. He had never tried to court a woman before. He wasn’t sure if Sesshomaru had intended to court Rin himself, which is why he was scared of asking.

“Is there anything else? I am very busy preparing for Rin’s next lesson.” Jaken didn’t want an extended discussion about the topic, it was too uncomfortable. Jaken suspected his lord had more opinions on the matter than he expressed, but the smaller demon thought it was a good plan to try and find a mortal husband for the girl. He cared for Rin and of course he loved Sesshomaru with all his being, but a human and a demon together was a terrible idea. 

Kohaku shook his head and walked away, thanking Jaken as he went, unsure of what his next move should be. For some reason, he thought permission would not be granted and he was willing to accept that, but this easy approval was far more of a surprise. He decided to see his sister to discuss the matter with her.

* * *

Sango was very pleased at the idea of Kohaku courting Rin. All she ever wanted for her brother was for him to be happy and healthy. It was amazing that she had gotten him back after everything that happened with Naraku, and the only thing that would make her happier was to see him settled with a wife and child. Rin was a lovely young woman, and while she didn’t have as much antipathy towards the demon as some others, Sango was also of the opinion that Rin was better off with humans. The girl was delicate and sweet and so full of life, Sango feared the cold life with only demons as companions would harm her eventually.

Sango recognized that Sesshomaru had a strong connection with the girl, and she knew that he was softened by Rin’s presence. They both knew that her life should have been forfeit in his eyes, when she was willing to kill Rin to save the Miraku mirage. The Sesshomaru before Rin would have struck her down without hesitation. But not only did he hesitate long enough to make her plea to be kept alive to defeat Naraku, he had forgiven that life debt when Sango saved Rin’s life with her mask. The demon was more complicated than many would see.

But Kohaku was her brother and he seemed to really like Rin, who seemed to like him back. So although she understood that Sesshomaru had strong feelings for his vassal, it would likely be to _everyone’s_ benefit if Rin could fall in love with Kohaku.

* * *

Sesshomaru was better at setting the two up than even he consciously knew. By Kohaku providing support from the fear she had of wolves, it encouraged a sort of “trauma bonding” that helped get them both over their hesitations. He didn’t start officially courting Rin immediately. He definitely still had fear of the reaction of Sesshomaru, but also of Rin. They had several moments that he thought he could have maybe gotten away with kissing her, but if he was wrong, it would never be the same. And right when he swore to himself that he would speak with Rin at the next new moon, Kagome appeared once again from the well. 

There was so much activity related to that, Kohaku felt it was too much to consider courting that month. Finally, they kissed the night of the new moon, tucked away in Kaede’s hut. While Rin was being raised as a human woman, she was definitely not being raised as a _traditional_ woman. Kagome had too much influence on behavior, even before she returned. Kagome did not excel at being a quiet Sengoku wife. She couldn’t suppress that much of her modern upbringing to fit that mold, and she encouraged other women around her to be just as confident and independent thinkers.

* * *

Rin had bonded with Inuyasha when Kagome was gone, and then with Kagome when she returned from beyond the well. Inuyasha and Kagome had built a hut that connected with the one Rin shared with Kaede, and they became an extended family.

The two women also had similar cycles, being in such proximity, and they would bond while they were in isolation for being “unclean”. Sango occasionally would join them, but she spent a lot of time being pregnant. Kagome had explained to Rin the truth about menstruation, but that also, the isolation was rather nice. She could relax and get out of all her chores if she went along with tradition. When Kagome had heard that Kohaku was “courting” Rin, in her mind it meant dating. Kagome shared modern dating tips, most of which violated a lot of the chastity rules so valued in the time period for women. She encouraged Rin to try things with Kohaku, because it was good to have experience with more than one person. And if she thought Kohaku was the one, consider finding someone else to be sure.

Kagome had shared that while she was back in her time, she had been seeing someone, even loved him and had considered marrying him. Rin asked what had happened, but Kagome had teared up and said that in the end, they just weren’t right for each other. That’s what had spurred Kagome to go back to the well: realizing she still was in love with Inuyasha and that they _were_ right for each other. They giggled together as they talked about boys and kissing and love. Kagome just found Rin to be so damn effervescent that she couldn’t help but take her under her wing.

Kagome was then the first of Inuyasha’s group to learn about some of Rin tragic history. It was one night while they were in isolation for their periods, and Rin had fearfully asked her about sex; all Rin knew of it was when she had watched her mother be raped in front of her. Kagome was filled with sadness and horror that the little girl had to witness something so brutal, she was also thankful that the men hadn’t set upon the child as well. She was also very happy that Rin had trusted her enough to share her history.

Kagome gently explained that what Rin had witnessed was terrible and not how sex should be. The miko vowed to herself at that point to ensure that no one harmed Rin. She also understood a little more how the young woman had been able to crack the exterior of Sesshomaru. There was something about Rin that made drew others in. It was a good trait, considering her combat skills left a lot to be desired. She could manage basic self-defense but faltered doing more than that. She just didn’t like the possibility to hurting someone.

Kohaku and Rin became very close and were encouraged in that closeness by everyone. They enjoyed each other’s company and definitely enjoyed discovering more about physical attraction. It was the closest to an arranged marriage that any in their group had. It was just perfect on paper, the sweet Rin with the tortured Kohaku.

They didn’t have a grand romance, but they had amiable comfort. In their time period, that was good enough for most people. For nearly five months, they spent much of their free time together, trying to figure out the intricacies of a relationship. Rin struggled with how nihilistic and blood-thirsty Kohaku could be, and he felt she was unrealistic and too soft-hearted at times.

During one of their minor spats, Kohaku threw up his arms in frustration, causing Rin to visibly flinch while terror filled her eyes. He immediately stopped and looked at her, hurt. “Do you really think I would hit you, Rin?” He knew he shouldn’t take it personally, she had a terrible history too, but he thought she trusted him enough by that point.

She hesitated for entirely too long. She couldn’t say what he wanted to hear, because part of her always thought people would hit her. That’s what people do. “It’s not you, specifically…..”

That felt like a punch to the gut for Kohaku. “Yeah. I get it. You’re right.” He nodded, because he _did_ get it, and couldn’t fault her for that reaction. Hell, he had kidnapped and tried to kill her before. She had resolutely befriended him, but she would never be able to fully trust a human, not after what she had been through.

The fight was over, but it ate at the core of both of them. Rin struggled with the idea that she might never be able to trust any man to not hurt her, not even her husband. Kohaku struggled with his own emotional issues, his self-doubt eating at him that she couldn’t fully trust him and the fact that she was right, remembering stalking her as a child, ready to slit her throat. Kohaku had the opportunity to on an extermination job that would take him away for a couple weeks, and he took it eagerly.

The relief was mutual when he left.

* * *

The extermination team was back just before the new moon, partially for Inuyasha’s sake, partially for Rin’s. Kohaku had come back when the moon was the tiniest sliver in the sky. They both had tried to get moments alone to talk, but there were so many things to do with the return of the demon slayers. The next night though was the new moon, and that was their private time every month. Kaede even joined the group at Sango’s hut, leaving them alone.

They both had dread and anticipation mixing in their minds, but both trying to hide it from the other. Kohaku was ashamed that he couldn’t shake the hurt of her mistrust, mostly because it was valid. He kept seeing himself ready to attack her, back when he was under Naraku’s influence. She didn’t hold him responsible for that, but he did. Neither of them would ever truly be able to forget when he had harmed her in the past.

Rin was sad and disappointed to realize that she might never be able to really love a human, because she could never trust them fully. She knew logically that Kohaku was not at fault for what he did under Naraku’s control – he had even fought against the command - nor was he responsible for any of the other harm that had come to her by way of humans. But she also knew what he looked like when he came back from hunting, splattered with blood and happy about killing. And though she had of course forgiven him for the harm he perpetrated against her, it was clear that when emotions were high, she still feared him on some level. He would never be able to help it, but his face was sometimes in her nightmares.

That night, she sat with her back against the wall of the hut, on the futon, Kohaku resting his head on her lap while she played with his hair. “I’d been waiting until we could get a chance to be alone.”

Kohaku opened an eye, she could tell he was nervous. “Yeah?” He reached an arm up to caress hers, trying to pretend that he was not having doubts about their relationship.

“I think we need to talk,” she said as she took his hand and placed it back on his own chest, but still held onto to it in a calming manner.

There are just some phrases that no matter the language or time period, their secondary meaning is instinctively known. “We need to talk”, is one such phrase, so often known as the death knell for a relationship. Kohaku almost seemed relieved at her words. “Yeah, I guess we do.” He moved to sit up, but Rin held her hand on his chest to keep him where he was. She felt more in control this way and she felt the comforting position might lessen the blow.

“I did mis you…..” She trailed off, twirling a lock of his hair between her fingers, trying to figure out what to say without hurting her friend.

He gave a half smile up at her from her lap. “You really are great, you know that, right?” She blushed and he continued before she could interrupt. “I was scared because I felt the same way.” 

The hand in his hair stopped as she tried to figure out what he meant. “What do you mean?” 

“That I care about you, that I would never want to hurt you.” He waited until she was looking him in the eyes. “That nothing means more to me than our friendship…” Now he was trailing off, trying to get his nerve up to say the rest.

Suddenly, Rin started laughing, pushing at his shoulder. “You don’t want to marry me!” Kohaku sat up, confused and trying to apologize, now unsure of how she felt, but she stopped him with a gentle smile. “Thank goodness.” She felt giddy with relief that he had reservations too. Maybe she could get out of this with their friendship intact.

His confusion faded to relief with the confirmation that she felt the same. “I don’t know if I _ever_ am going to want to get married, honestly.” The time alone on the expedition reminded him how much he had missed that, in ways he hadn’t realized. While it was fun to be able to have physical intimacy, he wasn’t sure he was ready to have the kind of relationship Sango and Miroku or Kagome and Inuyasha had.

She nodded, understanding how he felt in a way. She didn’t want to get married just because everyone else their age was marrying or because it was expected of her, she wanted to have love, like Kagome told her about, like she saw between the married couples she knew. “I want to marry for more than just they are a great friend and we are unlikely to kill each other in hatred.” She tried to lighten the mood and not focus on the more hurtful issues.

He grinned at her words. “I mean, it does help if that’s at least _part_ of it.” She smirked and slapped his shoulder lightly. “Hey now! That’s important to me.” He sat up and pulled her into a one-armed hug as his face turned more serious. “I think I understand how you feel about Sesshomaru better now.”

She turned a bright shade of red and thought about denying it and shoving him for good measure, instead deciding to relent, resting a head on his shoulder. “I know it’s stupid.” She sighed sadly. Kohaku wouldn’t have forced her to admit it, but he wasn’t wrong. And none of it mattered. Love was not what made most marriages, she was a human peasant, and worst, he probably still saw her as a child.

He hugged her again. “We’re allowed to want stupid things sometimes.” While he suspected that it was possible that Sesshomaru might have an interest in Rin, he doubted the pompous man would ever act on it, because that would mean admitting he was wrong about humans.

She huffed sadly in response, then suddenly looked up at him with a wry grin. “Who do you think is going to be more upset, Kaede or Sango?” 

“Kaede” they both said together, laughing. Sango may have been picking out the names of their children already, but Kaede had seemed truly happy when she learned they were courting and was really pushing for a quick marriage.

“She just never got to have a normal family or marry herself and of course neither did Kikyo. I think she wants to just give me everything she wanted but couldn’t have.” Rin felt bad about that, she wanted to make Kaede happy and proud of her, but it just didn’t seem to be her capability.

“Yeah, well, we all have had pretty messed up childhoods.” Kohaku thought about the fact that they both had died twice, their parents were all violently killed and they largely raised themselves. It admittedly was one of the reasons he wasn’t sure he wanted to even marry; he was scared of becoming a father and then leaving a child behind to suffer.

She nodded, trying to suppress the shiver she felt when she could hear a wolf howl. Kohaku heard it too and wrapped her more closely in his arms. “Don’t worry, I’m still here for you,” he whispered, thankful that this had gone as well as it had. He had been afraid of hurting Rin and the consequences that would follow.

* * *

They went together the next day to tell both Sango and Kaede that their courtship was not going to continue. Sango was stricken, but she was also pregnant again and prone to emotional outbursts. Kaede seemed sad but also angry. Rin and Kohaku tried to calm her initially, but gave up and fled. 

“She’ll have some sake and then feel better.” Rin had been surprised by the anger. Kaede accused her of not even being willing to try to be normal and told Kohaku he was a failure of a man. They left after that verbal tirade and he was walking her out to the stream to meet Kagome.

Kohaku was trying to not take her insults personally, but the last one had cut, because he felt it was true. “I think actually she had already been into the sake and that was the problem.” 

She nodded with a sigh, also struggling with the impact of Kaede’s words. “What if I’m never ‘normal’?”

“Nope, she wasn’t thinking. You are normal for _Rin_. And that’s all you need to be.”

“Yeah. And your manhood is fine, by the way.” She gave a slightly lecherous grin to him, despite her blush, trying to lessen the sting of Kaede’s words to him.

He blushed as well, ducking his head with embarrassment and then pulling her into a hug. “You know I’ll always love you, right?” He kissed the top of her head chastely.

“I’ll always love you too,” she said, her voice thick with tears suddenly. It was the right decision, but it was still sad.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story was actually inspired by the movie when the beads get broken. I hated how Kagome put them back on Inuyasha without his consent. In my head canon, he insisted they be replaced, out of fear of hurting her if he lost control. I started with that, and a whole big thing spiraled out of it.
> 
> Mix it up with a bit of a RL love story I know that was similar in ways, et voila!


End file.
